Sadness changes
by dizzy.tallack
Summary: For any girl, lossing both your parents at the age of seventeen is a troubling time. Little more then a month later, Bella has found herself living in a small town with her Aunty, having to leave everything and everyone she once knew behind. The move will completely change her view of the world as she becomes friends with the most wierd people she will ever come to know.
1. Chapter 1

You know what? I really hate that saying, "life and love goes on" for more than one reason. Sure, life goes on, but it never feels the same way. In some sort of messed up way, it starts to carry you down deeper into the pits of despair until you are asking for the same untimely end. As for love, can't say I know how to answer that one. I loved them both. I never wanted this to happen, but what can I say? I'm pretty sure they thought I hated them. Every day I told them I wanted to move out, that they failed as parents. The worst part…they believed it. I was selfish and I knew it.  
God how I missed them, But like the saying "life and love goes on"…

And as life goes on, it happens to lead me to a shitty little town in the middle of nowhere where I was to live with my Aunty until I was eighteen. The tragedy happened over a month ago, but still very raw in my heart. I had a full year until I turned eighteen. Well, a full year tomorrow, at least. I hadn't yet turned seventeen.  
'Belly?'  
_How many times do I have to tell her? For fuck sake! _'In the kitchen, Aunty!' It was ten o'clock and I should consider going to bed for my first day of school tomorrow, but I was too worked up. I've never been to a new school. I went to one primary school and one high school, soon to be two. It had my blood pumping.  
'Sorry I'm late, sweaty,' she apologised.  
'You work two jobs, trust me, I'm surprised you're even home this early,' I shrugged as I threw a plate of leftover chicken into the microwave. 'Want some?'  
'Nah, I'm alright. Going to bed, actually,' she said as she yawned,' have to be up and gone by five tomorrow for a business meeting.'  
'Oh,' was all I said. She worked so much, missing out on friends, sleep and just chilling out. All this so she could support us.  
She began her assent up the stairs located across from the kitchen doorway. 'Night, Darling.'  
_God, that nickname was almost as bad! _I only let her continue calling me childish names because I had no right to tell her to cut it out. She has been good to me ever since my parents passed away, and I was grateful. 'Night, Aunty!'  
I went to bed shortly after, falling asleep to the sound of Shakespeare on the TV. If only I could find my Romeo…

Groggy from my uncomfortable position on the two seater all night, I was grouchy when I woke, stubbing my toe on the stairs on my way to the bathroom.  
'Son of a mother-hoe!' _That was a new one, Bella.  
_Rushing back down stairs, I took my time getting breakfast, playing little movies in my head about what today would be like. My eyes wondered to the clock on the wall. I almost swallowed my spoon. It was half passed eight! School starts in ten minutes.  
Throwing my bowl in the sink, not caring about the mess, my legs carried me up the stairs at a speed I didn't even know I had. Adrenalin pumped through me at the thought of going to a new school, meeting new people; a real change in scenery.  
Throwing a plain back singlet on that hugged every curve I had, leaving nothing to the imagination, I slipped my feet into a pair of red flats, yanked my yellow sweater off of the back of the door as I swung it shut.  
I was in my car, speeding down the quiet, misty streets of forks in a matter of minutes.  
The school was easy enough to find. As I was pulling into the parking lot, about to swing into reverse for a parking spot, another car sped in, cut me off, taking the spot I was going for.  
'Are you kidding me?' I yelled. _Oh, hell no! _  
Jumping out of my car-a shitty Volkswagen-I sauntered across to where five students were getting out of their shinny Volvo. They were all pale, beautiful and mysterious to the eye. But to me, these were signs of popular kids, and in my last high school that didn't go down so well. I hated popular people, and they seemed to hate me within the first few seconds of looking at me.  
All of them stared at me in surprise, but one of them-a tall guy with bronze hair-looked like he was in pain. Good, saves me from kicking his ass.  
Placing my hands on my hips, I said, 'What the hell is wrong with you guys?'  
'What do you-.'  
'Don't,' I cut the blond haired girl off, eyeing her up and down,' even try to excuse yourself. You guys could have caused as accident! I was clearing backing into this spot, but you go ahead and fucking cut me off.'  
'I knew what I was doing. We wouldn't have crashed,' was all the bronze coloured guy said.  
'Yeah, that may be the case, but I didn't. Does it look like I can read minds? If I panicked than it could have turned really ugly and we could all be sitting in the hospital.'  
Sharing a look that told me I was amusing to them, the blond spoke up again.  
'You're new here, aren't you?'  
'I…Uh, yeah, yes. Why does that matter?' I demanded.  
A little girl with spiky black hair the colour of night laughed. 'People never speak to us.'  
Aren't they popular, though? Look at them-the way they dressed, stood, presented themselves-they had to be in the "in" crowd.  
The warning bell rang, telling any stragglers to get to class before they started issuing detentions. Casting a glance towards my car, making sure it was parked properly; I turned and walked stiffly to my first lesson, felling their stairs boring into my back the whole way.


	2. Chapter 2

As soon as my Aunty left for work I left shortly after, allowing myself ten minutes to spare.  
Yesterday, two teachers had yelled at me for being late, I tripped over some girl's bag in the hallway, making everybody laugh, and above all, I was now known as the girl who spoke to the Cullen's. It took me an hour to figure out that that was the name of the five beautiful teenagers I shouted at in the morning. Apparently a few people saw me with them on their way to class, thinking it was gossip worthy. Everyone was utterly shocked, some even saying I had balls. Seriously, they are just people as well. But from the way all of the students looked at them, adverted their eyes, paths to avoid them, they were clearly not as popular as I would have thought.  
Today the spot I was cut off from yesterday was wide open, but it stayed empty. I decided to park more around the back of the office building. Glaring at those who openly gapped at me, I made my way into the school. My stomach growled and I laughed in return. I just ate breakfast less than twenty minutes ago, but hay, what can I say? I liked food.  
Checking my phone, it said I still had five or so minutes until the bell, and I could miss out a little of Care class. Spinning back towards the double doors, I swung them open and ran smack into someone's chest. One of the doors hit the brick wall, rebounding. It clipped me on the shoulder and sent me towards the floor. I hit the cold cement with a hard thud.  
'God dammit!' _Holy hell that hurt like a bitch._  
I tried to stand back up, but my shoulder complained and I gasped as the sore spot screamed.  
'Are you alright?' Came a velvety soft voice, breaking through the thumping in my ears.  
Glancing up, I moaned. 'Ugh, I'm fine, I think. Thanks for helping.' Maybe I said that a little too sarcastically.  
Normal people would have helped in some way-lifted me up, offered a hand-but no, not this one. He continued to stare at me like a moron with the same pained look he had when we first met yesterday. Something was wrong with this guy.  
When it was obvious he wasn't going to help, I sighed. In one strong pull, I heaved myself back to my feet using the door handle. I clutched my arm to my side.  
'You should go put some ice on that,' he suggested, taking a step back.  
'It's fine,' I snapped. Taking one more second to glare at him, I stumbled passed, not hard to do when he practically ran to get out of my way. Just as I reached the edge of the footpath, the bell rang. There was no way I could make it to the shop down the street and back before first period.  
'Where are you heading?'  
God, he was really starting to irritate me. 'Nowhere now,' I sighed before turning to where he was standing a few feet behind me. 'I was planning on getting breakfast, but that was before you ran me down.'  
He smiled. 'Sorry. Haven't you eaten yet?'  
_Why do you care? _'No, I have.'  
Grinning, he nodded his head. 'We could still go grab something to eat, I can get my parents to call the school, tell them we're going to be late.'  
Whoa, _we?_ Was he freaking for real? 'Hmm, as nice as that sounds,'-not-,'I would rather cut off my own hand.'  
Slowly, his smile faded.  
_Serves you right. _Someone had to teach this guy that you can't be mean and rude to a girl one seconds than utterly change your mood and want to hang out with that girl. That's not how the game is played.  
Smiling sweetly, I sauntered passed, not looking back.  
First period was a bore, making me wish I had ditched with what's-his-face. Some guy who introduced himself as Mike kept talking to me until the teacher called on him to answer a question. I signed with relief as the teacher moved him for not paying attention.  
Second lesson was Gym. Not only did I despise anything with the word sport in it, but my stomach and shoulder were still complaining to me. Maybe I could say I have cramps and sit this one out? From the expression on the coach's face, he did not like people who quite.  
Slumping my shoulders-not even going to bother asking him-I went to stand at the back of the group. Mike smiled and waved at me before breaking away from his friends, coming to stand next to me.  
'Okay, class, this is what we are going to be doing today,' coach boomed. 'Either it's an hour long run around the track, or you could stay inside…to climb the rope.'  
My ears perked up at the inside part, but the moment he said "rope" I was out. Climbing the rope was one of the hardest things in Gym, and the best part was that you could fail in front of everyone. Apparently, though, when Coach said, 'Either outside or in", he was picking. I, unfortunately, was a part of the team to climb the rope. Mike waved at me as he jogged towards the exit to the oval. I smiled wistfully.  
_For fuc-  
_'Alice Cullen, you're first!'  
Like yesterday, nearly every student adverted their gaze as she gracefully walked from her spot on the bleachers with the blond girl. Smiling slightly, she placed one small hand on the thick rope, testing it. Than my eyes widened as she began to climb, barely aware of the twenty foot drop beneath her. A girl that small, though, wouldn't have much weight to carry, but she didn't seem to have any muscle on her whatsoever. Completely bone ass skinny.  
'Bella Swan!'  
Shaking my head, I began towards the middle of the floor where the rope was hanging from a beam on the roof. _If that skinny little girl can do it, so can you! Suck it the hell up, Bella. _Taking a deep breath, I laid one hand on the rope, expecting it to untwine somehow and drop from the roof. Knowing my luck…  
One hand in front of the other; one, two, one, two. Before I knew it, I was half way up, almost to the point little Alice had been. And that's when the memories pressed down on me like a storm, each image rolling through my consciousness more viciously than the last.

'**Bella, honey, don't let go, okay? Dad's coming down to get you.'  
My mums soothing tone calmed me down as I hung on for dear life a few meters down from the edge of the cliff. I was catching frogs with my dad to use them as bait when I slipped. Luckily I managed to catch onto a jiggered out section of the rock, just enough room for me to place my arms while the rest of my body hung down, dangling over a hundred meter drop to the sea.  
'Mum!'  
'Hold on, dad's coming,' she yelled back, than away from me, 'Hurry up!'  
And that's when it happened. My dad, meaning to throw a rope down to me, slipped and fell down the cliff. He landed below me in the water with a splash. I screamed, trying to hold on tighter, as my mum stared, stunned.  
Shaking her head, not seeming to see me anymore, she stood and took her shoes off.  
'Mum…?' My throat was sore from the ice cold air pressing against me as the wind whipped up the cliff.  
But she was already gone, having jumped off the cliff after my father.  
Unable to cry, I spent the next hour hoisting myself back to the top…  
**Before i knew what was happening, I had let go of the rope and was freefalling backwards through the air. The wind was knocked out of me as I hit the ground, shortly after my eye sight went black.  
When I came back around there were people shouting, saying stuff that I couldn't understand. Something about an ambulance I think I heard.  
_That's the last thing I want right now_. 'Ugh,' I moaned and someone shouted out to the others. 'What happened?' Opening my eyes, Mike was smiling down at me. Great, this just went from bad to worse.  
'You fell when you were climbing the rope,' he explained.  
'Don't get an ambulance,' I whispered.  
'What?'  
I sighed. 'Just…help me up, please.'  
'Oh, yeah, okay.' Taking my hand, he lifted me to my feet.  
Coach glanced at us from the phone he was holding to his ear, a furious expression covering his face. 'Newton, what the hell do you think you are doing? The patient cannot be moved, she may have an injury!'  
'I'm fine,' I said, glaring at him. 'Just need some water is all.' _And food, don't forget about food.  
_'I'll take her,' a small voice spoke up from the back of the gathered crowd. 'I'll make sure she doesn't collapse somewhere, coach.'  
Unable to say no to Alice's sweat smile and cute expression, he nodded and turned back to the phone.  
I started. 'I do not need someone to watch me.'  
Alice looked innocently at me. 'Oh, I know, I just wanted to get out of class. Want to ditch?' She winked at me behind the coaches back.  
Ditching sounded fantastic. 'Sure, why not?'  
She surprised me by telling the coach we weren't going to be here for the rest of the lesson (who tells the teacher about it?), but I was more surprised when he said it doesn't matter. This girl was unbelievable. If she wasn't popular, than how the fuck does she get away with everything? Only students who suck up to teachers, always do the right thing when being watched can do stuff like this.  
'So,' Alice started as we made our way to the Gyms double doors, 'what would you like to do? We have half an hour till lunch.'  
'Um, how about you leave me alone?'  
Skidding to a stop, she turned to face me in the empty hallway. 'Excuse me?'  
'Listen, I'm grateful you got me out of Gym, but I don't like people. Not you, just in general,' I explained, keeping my back straight, arms crossed.  
Her eyes widened. 'Well…we could get to know one another,' she suggested. 'Shopping, hanging out-.'  
'Negative. Not a chance,' I cut her off, shaking my head.  
Shortly after I returned to my old school after my parents death, no-one was the same. It was then I realised that no-one cared about anyone but themselves. No-one talked to me in fear of hurting me, some people I called my best friends completely ignored me because they no longer thought I was fun to be around. I saw no point in making friends anymore, whether they knew why or why not.  
'But-.'  
My patient was all but gone. 'Shut up! For fuck sake, Alice, leave me the hell alone!' Before I could storm out of here, a deep voice started yelling from the end of the hall, behind were Alice was standing.  
'Never speak to her like that again!'  
'Edward, it's alright,' Alice said smoothly, eyes never leaving mine.  
For a few seconds all I did was glower at them both. When it was clear I lost that fight, I spun around and jogged down the hall until I found the exit outside. Luckily for me no-one was on the oval anymore. There was a fine mist falling from the sky.  
I spent the next hour or so sitting in the middle of the oval, not caring if someone saw me. I wasn't thinking about the fight with Alice, the sadness it caused me to have Edward-who I think was her brother-yell at me, or even the pain that was still running through my chest from the fall. All that was running through my mind was images of my parent's lovely faces, their smell, and their soft voices. I didn't even know until it was too late that there were tears silently rolling down my cheeks.  
It had started raining pretty hard, so I was able to hear the foot steps behind me as they landed in the mossy grass. I was ready to face any teacher, mike or even Alice, but not Edward.  
Wiping the tears from my eyes, I said, 'What do you want?'  
Ignoring my question, he asked, 'Are you crying?'  
'No,' I lied, sniffing a little.  
He glanced away when I looked up at him. After seeming to deliberate on something, he sat down next to me, not caring that it was still raining buckets.  
'What do you want, Edward?'  
'To give you this,' he said slowly, clearly afraid of scaring me.  
My eyes widened as he pulled a container from under his long, grey coat and handed it me. The smell made my stomach growl.  
He laughed lightly. 'I felt horrible from stopping you from eating this morning.' I looked up at him while he continued, staring straight ahead. 'So I called my mum and had her drop off a little something. They're just left over's from last night, hope you don't mind.'  
Why would I mind? He was willingly giving me food and I had no right. All I had done since I met him was yell at him and his family.  
'No…i-I don't-why?' My mind spun.  
When it was clear neither of us knew what I meant, I started again.  
'I am…sorry.' Taking a deep breath, I carried on. 'I'm sorry for yelling at you when I first met you, being rude for no reason, and having a go at your sister who seems like a sweat girl.'  
'Well,' he smiled, golden eyes betraying no anger, 'there must have been a reason. You're new, moving to a town this small where everyone already knows each other must have been…difficult.'  
'Something like that,' I murmured, thoughts drifting off to my parents again.  
'Common, we're late to class. Have you been out here all break?'  
I smiled sheepishly. 'And half of Gym; Alice sprung me.'  
'Let me guess,' he wondered out loud as he stood, offering me his hand. I declined and helped myself to my feet. 'She said you two can bond over shopping? Hanging out with one another, so to speak?'  
For the first time in what seemed like forever, I laughed. 'Yeah, something like that.'  
Edward's eyes seemed to brighten. 'Oh, here.' He handed me a metal fork from his coat pocket. 'You can eat that before we reach class, right?'  
Popping the lid off of the container, I heaved a giant forkful into my mouth. 'You underestimate my power,' I mumbled around the food in my mouth.  
Keeping a few feet between us, he led the way to class. I don't know how he did it, but he somehow knew we had biology together. I didn't care, though, I was too busy stuffing my face with his mums awesome cooking.


End file.
